Bernie Sanders Runs for Senator-for-Life

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Sen. Bernie Sanders, whose legislative career consisted largely of renaming post offices and proposing assorted socialist nonsense that even his party wouldn’t touch (most recently, a four-day work week) has announced that he intends to run for another term to continue his important work of simping for Hamas and ghostwriting books about how he’d run the country if we ever had a Communist revolution.

As a millionaire with three homes and a non-existent track record, the 82-year-old senator, aspiring to be an 88-year-old senator, is everything his younger self used to criticize.

There is no shortage of useless New England senators from small states whose chief function is to take up space (Joe Biden, call your office) and collect bribes (Joe, really, call, now), but a trick of fate made Bernie a national figure when Elizabeth Warren refused to run against Hillary Clinton …

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